When I cook a steak, you can bet your taste buds there will be Rosemary involved. Rosemary is not a nutritionist, or any form of hired help. Rosemary is an herb put on earth specifically to flavor hunks of dead cow.

Writing, like cooking, can run the gamut from raw potato blandness to full on extreme jambalaya flavor. This is the first in a series of posts I intend to write about the forms of literary seasoning one can use to avoid writing of the steamed vegetables variety. I call today’s article:

Verbs and Spices

Ask what constitutes “descriptive” writing, and many people think of adjectives. While adjectives can add flavor, the real action is in verbs. A well-placed verb can spice up a sentence quicker, and with more elegance, than a dozen adjectives.

Take this passage from my novel in progress for example:

Frantic screaming came through the air. Noro looked over to see one of the drunken patrons with his clothing on fire. The flames brightened the dim interior of the room.

There’s nothing wrong with this, but it could be a lot better. Here’s the second draft:

Frantic screams pierced the din. Noro glanced over to witness one of the drunken patrons writhing on the ground, clothing ablaze. The flames fought through the smoky gloom, casting a macabre stage play of shadows on the faces of the crowd.

The screams no longer just come, they pierce. The patron is now writhing. The flames are fighting. The paragraph is a lot more active, and a lot more interesting.

Like any technique, this one has limits. Dialog tags, for example, are not a good place to get overly creative. In most cases, a simple “he/she said” will do just fine. You don’t need your characters vociferating, exclaiming, inquiring, etc. You’ll only succeed in distracting the reader from the story. Leave the exclaiming to the exclamation mark, and the inquiring to the question mark. Vivien over at Inoperative Squirrel has a good post on this topic.

You should also keep in mind that not every verb needs replacing. Take the previous sentence. It would sound a bit silly if I changed it to, “You should retain in your memory that not every verb desires replacing.” You’ll also be hard pressed to replace some of the most basic verbs. The “to be” verbs, is, are, am, will, and so on, are not easily swapped out. The same goes for have/has, can, and does.

These limitations are minor, however. If you read a first draft, and find a section that just isn’t working for you, try replacing some of your verbs. You might be surprised just how much texture they can bring to the party.

Filed under: Writing by Ed 4 Comments »

Topics: Writing

This was the result of another class project. I was never completely satisfied with the project as a whole, but I do love the logo I created to go with it . When The Flaming Coal Mine found its way into the short story I started writing this weekend, it reminded me that I wanted to post the logo here.

The story, titled Prudent Paul’s Prophecy Emporium, is a satire inspired by recent discussions of fantasy genre clichés. The draft so far revolves around young Zed Granger, an lowly fry cook at The Flaming Coal Mine. A wizard comes to tell Zed that he is, of course, The Chosen One. Zed refuses to go on the inevitable “quest to save the world from the nameless evil,” and instead sets out to find out what idiot “chose” him, and why

Filed under: Design, Writing by Ed No Comments »

Topics: Logos, School, WIP

The cacti are my favorite part about living in Arizona. The stoic flora of the Sonoran desert is so odd I often think I’ve been transported to some alien landscape. The Saguaro (pronounced suh-war-oh) is the king of the cacti. When I looked through the pictures I’ve taken since moving here, I wasn’t surprised to find several of nature’s middle finger. I was surprised, however, to find that the majority of these depicted the skeletal remains, rather than live Saguaro.

Some might call the Saguaro majestic. I think dramatic is a more appropriate word. I say this for a couple of reasons. First, they grow only in this one part of the world. Second, they live a long, long time. Did you know they don’t sprout one of those famous arms until they are around 70 years old? Third, they are huge. They loom over the desert, some reaching over 50 feet tall. Fourth, they achieve all this in the harshest of climates. If the lives of these gargantuan icons are not dramatic, then I don’t know what is.

So, when I see a fallen Saguaro, I see the end of a long hard battle. I think that is why I so often turn my lens on them.

Filed under: Photos by Ed 1 Comment »

Topics: Photography

I’ve survived the first week of my summer math class. It’s only one class, but it’s accelerated to fit in the summer term, so I have to go 4 days a week. Between work, the class itself, homework (about 3 hours a night), and another online class I’m taking, I’ve had exactly two minutes of relaxation all week.

The class involves our teacher yelling at us for 2 hours while he slashes at the board with a dry erase marker. At first I thought the yelling was part of some kind of condition, like chronic jerk syndrome or something of the like. It turns out that a wrestling opponent ruptured his left eardrum sometime in high school. I’m guessing his indoor voice died sometime shortly after.

I no longer think he’s a jerk. The jury is still out on whether or not he’s a good teacher. Ok, so the verdict is already decided, but the jury won’t hand it in, as they’ve taken a liking to sequestration. (Look at me; I learned a new word today!)

I will, however, give you my verdict on the textbook; it’s a waste of 80 bucks. How they can justify charging that much for a ream of paper stuffed into a 3 ring binder is beyond me. It’s also the worst textbook I’ve ever encountered. 600 complex practice problems to 1simplistic example is not a good ratio.

With all those equations swimming through my head I haven’t written much over the past 5 days. This weekend I’m hoping to catch up a bit. While my brain is still wallowing in arithmetic, I may just hammer out some more details of the rules of magic for my fantasy world. Hopefully that will help wrench my brain out of math mode and into word mode, which I find much more pleasant. (Also pleasant: pie ala mode. Mmm…pie.)

Filed under: Blog by Ed 2 Comments »

Topics: Misc, School

George A. Romero gave birth to the zombie movie genre in 1968 with the legendary Night of the Living Dead. Last night I rented Diary of the Dead, and was sad to discover that Romero has rammed a tire iron through the genre’s skull.

Diary of the Dead is a lame attempt at satirizing the YouTube generation, filmed in an even lamer attempt at an amateur documentary/Blair Witch style. Aside from a few creative, and graphic, zombie death scenes, the film stinks like decayed flesh. It seems a fake documentary isn’t as easy to pull off as one might think. Diary fails for many reasons.

First, if you’re going to attempt this style of film, don’t try to hedge your bet with a bunch of fancy editing, including slow motion, music, and creepy sound effects. I don’t care if you set up a “reason” in the script for all that post production, it’s still a bad idea. You only succeed in reminding the viewer that what they are watching is not real. Either make it look like a documentary, or make it look like a traditional film. You can’t do both.

Second, for this type of film to work, the actors must have talent. The performances here were on a par with a high school play. Even if the actors were top-notch, the script would have crushed them. Jason, the guy toting around the camera, doesn’t have any regard for the feelings, or lives, of his friends, or even his own life. The other characters are there just to keep reminding us that Jason is a jerk, and that the real reason he won’t stop filming is because that would mean the end of the movie.

When this is the best the zombie master himself can muster, it means the outbreak has been contained. The genre is dead, and it won’t be getting up anytime soon to spread the infection with a bite on a loved one’s arm.

Filed under: Blog by Ed 1 Comment »

Topics: Movies, Zombies