March 15, 2009
Most people take billions of pictures of their children. Since we have no children, I tend to take billions of pictures of our dogs. I’ve taken over a gig worth since I got my E-510. I thought I would share a few of my favorites:
December 1, 2008
We thought it might be nice to close out our weekend by taking our dogs on a nice relaxing trip to the park. We had a nice time for about 10 minutes, after which some giant hell beast with a spiked collar comes running up to us. I’m pretty sure that this creature was the spawn of a Rottweiler and a German tank.
Anyway, the tank really just wants to wag its gun barrel at us and play with our dogs. The only problem is that our dogs are over the rainbow, crazy. The little one, Lily, turns into some kind of whirling dervish, yapping her head off and nearly pulling out of her leash before I can scoop her into my arms. Our slightly larger dog, Molly, thinks we are being attacked by a Nazi K9, and also goes ballistic.
The idiot who owns Hitler’s long lost puppy stands about 15 feet away with a look of horror on her face, being as helpful as a turd on a stick. Valerie and I try to walk away with our dogs in our arms, but the tank keeps advancing. Molly is making sounds that can only be described as an air raid siren mixed with the sound Satan would make if he stubbed his toe.
I’m a very mellow guy. I’m usually as tranquil as a bucket of valium on a deserted beach. But this moron and her out of control dog really damaged my calm. I start scaring the fragile psyches of all the nearby children with a hand grenade of obscenities hurled at the idiot, who is still standing in the distance like a mannequin.
We finally mange to get away, but our trip was ruined. The moral of the story is: keep your dog on a leash! Unless it’s a dog park, you can bet that there is a sign posted somewhere requiring all pets to be on a leash. You are not special. Just because you think your dog is well behaved doesn’t mean you don’t have to follow the rules. Even if your dog has the discipline of a service animal, that doesn’t mean all the other dogs at the park are equally well trained. So get your head out of your ass, and put your dog on a leash.
© 2009 E.R. Ellsworth